10/3/19
When our son died, we were inundated with support and I will always be beyond thankful. We had people cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, grocery shopping and anything we could imagine. We didn’t want to do anything and I truly don’t know how we could have. We were in so much shock and denial and the pain felt like someone was slicing my heart with a filet knife every second of the day. I truly don’t know how we would have eaten or had clean clothes if it weren’t for our friends. People brought us freezer meals to last us beyond when people were bringing fresh meals.We found out, through the loss of our precious son, that our community is huge and we would not be upright without them. What I also found out is that after the first month, most of that support lessens significantly because people’s lives move on. For me, the novacaine was starting to wear off after the first month and the reality was starting to sink In. I can’t say that I accepted our son’s death but I was realizing that he was not going to come walking down the hall and snuggle with me on the couch. Facing the reality that our friends lives didn’t stop when ours did was excruciating. Our lives are now defined by before and after. We were shaken to our core and brought to our knees when our beautiful, precious son left this world. We still can’t believe it and we don’t want to move forward because it feels so wrong. In our situation, we have a 3 year old whose world was throttled as well and we have chosen to keep living for him. None of us asked for this but we can’t imagine not providing the opportunity for him to still have a life. It is not easy to parent while grieving but these are the cards we’ve been dealt so we have to play them.
Carrie Schmitt 